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15 Sep 2010

My thanks to ibu and bapak for showing me the good and the bad

Hi my dear readers.. it's been like ages having no blog updates. Yeah, now I come back after long boringly break.. This may be the effect of sort of fatigue after writing my first book and therefore I still have no idea nor inspiration what to write on this blog.

However, today as I did some internet browsing, primarily facebook and my tweet, for sure:-), by chance I looked at one of my friend's status read: ''on story of Luna-Ariel, thanks to my parents to teach me what good and bad in life''. This notion suddenly brings me back to the adultery case involving three leading Indonesian celebrities, Luna Maya and Ariel Peterpan, and of course Cut Tari about 3 months back. To some extent I try to digest what my friend had to say. He might regard his gratitude to his parents for letting him know which one supposed to be done, and not to, which one is socially correct and incorrect, leading his way on a right track, on a well-courteous mannered life thus he didn't end up like those three socialites-cursed and blown away from the celebrityhood just that way ( My fingers click happy )

I won't share my opinion about the pros and cons of one's private life, but since the racy videos circulated publicly- even if these three celebs leave this world forever, the videos stand there on internet- those inevitably belongs to public's property. Let the authority judge who's to blame for.

My position here is to review what I can take away from that event. I just board on the same boat as that Facebookfriend, indeed. My parents are so religious people from the day they were born. They taught me very strict on various things, but as I said in my book, strict but not grab their kids on a handful grasp.

I recalled this moment when I was watching TV commercial showing a woman in a bathtub rubbing her skin as she said ''wishing to have smooth skin like mine?... use this soap''... well something like that. And my mother was abruptly saying to me '' I hope you don't come up with any idea to become like her''... I smiled. In fact, I just filled out a form to contest in Gadis Sampul, a yearly teenage beauty pageant competition organized by Majalah Gadis. As a young and immature, my mind was easily set by the instant success, fame, money, etc. My mom and dad were aware of that. That's why they sent me to Islamic based schools, Muhammadiyah early on, so that I and my siblings know which good and bad upbringing are, wide open my eyes that the true good can be also twisted to bad and the bad can be treated and accepted as good in this living and growing society. That very moment I backed out from the contest. I was ashamed to picture me dressing with shorts, skirts, or topless clothes and getting scored for that by the juries.

Now, I feel grateful to God for giving me such wise parents. At that time, I've never acknowledged what my parents had done to us as wise parenthood. They said very often 'NO, NO, NO' the do's and the don'ts kept coming by my ears. But the great idea from this is, I know the border of good and bad precisely. However, after I turned eighteenth or so, they had never been that strict anymore. They knew that we were already grown up and could think exactly what good for us. It's like what my friend says: ''My mother kept telling me that pacaran/dating is not good, it's forbidden in Islam and bla bla bla.. Then one day her mom said, ''I allow you to get to know your boyfriend each other in more closely way. But I would you not rather do that too far''. So that's it. The creation of barrier of good and bad must be established from early on, then let your kids formulate it and translate it on their own when they're quite grown up. This clear border will result the character and dignity foundation.
Again, not to judge these three celebrities, in my eyes, they 're just merely very late to find out what the good and the bad for them. In one of talking head with an infotainment on her love relationship with Ariel which likely to end in marriage , as far as I can recall, Luna once said : ''Obviously I would not get married that soon.. Look, I am just 26 years old, I got career, and everything, I can't imagine how would I be with that stick (referring wooden stick for elderly) walking around and taking care my kids? oh no.. I still want to release my entire being, and marriage is not the answer''. In other door stop with reporters again she said: ''Why is that, these people are so fussy about my life? Can't they simply shut their mind and mouth to what I do, just like in Hollywood or so..'' Her gesture suggests she doesn't even realize living and laboring in Indonesia, not in America, I can tell you...

It seems now she has to swallow the bitterness of her own words. The sex scandal sparked in both mainstream and social media, and gaining much attention across Indonesia even making great headline in Austria, I suppose, and rank on top twitter trending one time. In average, most people show regret, unfavorably to their act considered violating the decency and social norms. Right then, I must say, and am happy to jump into this conclusion, most Indonesians are still holding the good and step aside the bad, not fooled by those who twist these two opposites into their own term.

Therefore, I just want to say thank you again and again to my parents, terimakasih ibu dan bapak for the never ending love and sincere affection. Frankly saying, I fear to embrace the new era ahead, when moms and dads, so are for me and my hubby, whom I believe will discover more challenges to separate the good and bad for their kids in this modern yet more orderless world.